This is part 8 of the 11 part series on the writer’s journey back to Judaism. For the other parts, read this.
We seemed to do the impossible. We brought together people from every kind of church background and of a couple of messianic Jews, people who were Jews by birth into one united community. I taught beginners’ Hebrew and we began to wear that tzitzit, tassels. Everyone, even the girls, were encouraged to wear them. Without the rabbinical understanding to glean from, we took everything literally from the Torah.
I had jumped back in with both feet once more finding my voice as a Jewish momma who wanted Christians to understand their Jewish roots. I wrote a homeschooling curriculum, led workshops on the “Feasts,” made an online messianic magazine, and even hosted a radio show. I was a true believer and I was happy to be out of the church, and back in what seemed like a “Jewish” environment once more. We finished our degrees at a small Bible college and my husband taught the local Pastors Jewish studies. He spoke at their churches and I spoke at homeschool conferences.
Raising a family with a new baby on the way, things seemed anointed. My husband would have to prepare exciting sermons each week. Everyone in our circles loved good and groundbreaking teaching. It was a lot to live up too. My husband dug into rabbinical texts for inspiration, marrying everything he read with a “Yeshua” connection.
He found great fulfillment in reading the Talmud, writings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and much more. He started introducing traditional Jewish singers to the children. I was starting to get concerned. These singers didn’t believe in “Yeshua.” What if the kids got too interested in Traditional Judaism? I pushed back. With tears, I insisted we listen to equal parts messianic influences. But my husband had lost his taste for it. He couldn’t read messianic sources anymore. They didn’t seem to know as much as the sages. I was getting worried.
He started introducing hand washing during kiddush and asking us to separate meat and dairy, something frowned upon in the messianic world. We started getting emails from people aware of our new leanings. We were getting too rabbinical, too mystical, frankly too Jewish. Real believers did not believe in the rabbis. Rabbis added to Scripture, we were told.
The boys started wrapping tefillin and we began to feel more out of place in this world we had loved only months before. We both still loved “Yeshua” and held on very tight, even though we truly wanted to be a part of the Jewish community more and more!
It was an email from a friend that created a crack in my carefully constructed Roman armor.
The ugly head of anti-Semitism began appearing among the dance and song, and I was to hit a crossroads.
To Be Continued. . .